Thursday, March 28, 2013
Peanut butter & Waffles: My two cents: Marriage Equality
Peanut butter & Waffles: My two cents: Marriage Equality: So it's been awhile again. I have been so smitten with my little and quickly growing munchkin that writing a blog has been my last prior...
My two cents: Marriage Equality
So it's been awhile again. I have been so smitten with my little and quickly growing munchkin that writing a blog has been my last priority. I have a few minutes today, and feel that I want to weigh in on how I view our current civil right fight for marriage equality. First off, I am pretty sure everyone reading this knows where I stand, but if for some reason you don't let me just say the I am a great advocate for equal rights across the board. With that said, here are my two cents:
Here we are talking about people, like REAL human beings. My heart is broken at the lack of acceptance toward the LGBT community. We are all equal in God's eyes contrary to the beliefs of many. I have heard so many different angles on this subject, and none of which hold much weight for me. Everything I hear, though it may be intelligently delivered and articulated, summarizes itself to " we don't want the government involved in our affairs, BUT WAIT government do something about this because I don't agree with it!" I think the bottom line is that we live in a country full of greed and personal agendas. That's what makes us free, but how about using some logic when "picking your battles". More so, what do you really care? Your church doesn't have to marry same sex couples, isn't that the basis of your argument? That marriage is between a man and a woman? How does it affect you if another church, or the courthouse, or someone who jumped online to get ordained marries a same sex couple? Really, why are you even making this your business? Why do you care? I wish people would just ask themselves that question and then give me an answer that has depth and weight and coincides with separation of church and state by the way. Not that I will be swayed, because I do truly believe that God loves us all and created us in his image. Not one of us are the same.
Additionally, for those who think that being gay is a choice. I am going to assume you don't have relationships with homosexuals. Well let me not assume as you very well may. You may have grown up with a family member just as I did. However, if you do have the experience of a brother/sister/etc. being gay, and were with them your whole life how could you not believe that they are born that way? Or to say that they can choose to act on it? Would you chose to be with someone who you had absolutely 0 feelings or attraction for, and honestly think that this is what God wants for you? To be miserable and not experience true love as many of us do when we find our true love? Is t not obvious to children when there is no love in their home? They pick up on this. Just as they pick up on love being present. Parents are the first teachers when children are learning HOW to love. They don't teach you WHO to love (well not a good parent at least).
I do feel peace in all of this as I know when my daughter is old enough to understand, that this will all be history-- maybe she will even be the flower girl in her Uncles wedding, but sadly it's probably safer to say she will be a bridesmaid. Either way, her home and sanctuary will be one that teaches true love of all mankind. That she does not have to agree with everyone and the only decisions that she needs to be concerned with are the ones that concern her own personal character.
I just need to give a quick "shout out" to my parents. They raised all 5 of us to follow our hearts and to be independent-- not to be followers. They are parents of a homosexual son, and they are his greatest supporter regardless of their faith, maybe even because of their faith. They are true examples of the religion they practice as they reflect the true spirit of loving everyone as God's children and they take seriously the fact that we do not judge one another, that is between the individual and God (Heavenly Father). My brothers, the grandkids, and myself are so fortunate to have such great teachers and guides.
One more thing that I thought was cool. A true feminist is not one who stands for only women's rights, but for equal rights for everyone. My friend Erin shared that with me and I love it!
So that is SOME of my take. I am not going to proofread since I need to get my workout in while little one is napping. Sorry in advance for typos and grammatical errors!!
One love.
Here we are talking about people, like REAL human beings. My heart is broken at the lack of acceptance toward the LGBT community. We are all equal in God's eyes contrary to the beliefs of many. I have heard so many different angles on this subject, and none of which hold much weight for me. Everything I hear, though it may be intelligently delivered and articulated, summarizes itself to " we don't want the government involved in our affairs, BUT WAIT government do something about this because I don't agree with it!" I think the bottom line is that we live in a country full of greed and personal agendas. That's what makes us free, but how about using some logic when "picking your battles". More so, what do you really care? Your church doesn't have to marry same sex couples, isn't that the basis of your argument? That marriage is between a man and a woman? How does it affect you if another church, or the courthouse, or someone who jumped online to get ordained marries a same sex couple? Really, why are you even making this your business? Why do you care? I wish people would just ask themselves that question and then give me an answer that has depth and weight and coincides with separation of church and state by the way. Not that I will be swayed, because I do truly believe that God loves us all and created us in his image. Not one of us are the same.
Additionally, for those who think that being gay is a choice. I am going to assume you don't have relationships with homosexuals. Well let me not assume as you very well may. You may have grown up with a family member just as I did. However, if you do have the experience of a brother/sister/etc. being gay, and were with them your whole life how could you not believe that they are born that way? Or to say that they can choose to act on it? Would you chose to be with someone who you had absolutely 0 feelings or attraction for, and honestly think that this is what God wants for you? To be miserable and not experience true love as many of us do when we find our true love? Is t not obvious to children when there is no love in their home? They pick up on this. Just as they pick up on love being present. Parents are the first teachers when children are learning HOW to love. They don't teach you WHO to love (well not a good parent at least).
I do feel peace in all of this as I know when my daughter is old enough to understand, that this will all be history-- maybe she will even be the flower girl in her Uncles wedding, but sadly it's probably safer to say she will be a bridesmaid. Either way, her home and sanctuary will be one that teaches true love of all mankind. That she does not have to agree with everyone and the only decisions that she needs to be concerned with are the ones that concern her own personal character.
I just need to give a quick "shout out" to my parents. They raised all 5 of us to follow our hearts and to be independent-- not to be followers. They are parents of a homosexual son, and they are his greatest supporter regardless of their faith, maybe even because of their faith. They are true examples of the religion they practice as they reflect the true spirit of loving everyone as God's children and they take seriously the fact that we do not judge one another, that is between the individual and God (Heavenly Father). My brothers, the grandkids, and myself are so fortunate to have such great teachers and guides.
One more thing that I thought was cool. A true feminist is not one who stands for only women's rights, but for equal rights for everyone. My friend Erin shared that with me and I love it!
So that is SOME of my take. I am not going to proofread since I need to get my workout in while little one is napping. Sorry in advance for typos and grammatical errors!!
One love.
Wednesday, January 2, 2013
New Years Resowhaaa?!
Wow, I cant believe it is January 2, 2013!!! I haven't posted a thing in awhile-- partly because I haven't been inspired and partly because I have been so consumed with my little ball of energy, Quinn. I guess this post will just be a "lets see what happens" post as I still am not all too inspired. I need something to make me feel real passionate...someone piss me off please!! Just kidding, please don't. I would like to say that I am going to start the New Year off right, and try to have a better attitude, healthier lifestyle, yada yada yada; Truth is I don't buy into New Years resolutions. I don't need a day to excuse my laziness and procrastination while I am waiting for that day to approach so I can change. If something that I am doing is dragging me down, I change it ASAP. I'm not necessarily graceful in the change, but I guess the action and willingness to be honest about where I stand with that "needed"change is far better than telling myself the lie that sets us all up to fail "I will NEVER do that again." Saying "never" for me is just an invitation to binge on whatever it is that I am trying to swear off, whether its bad behavior, or chocolate cake.
On the flip side of that if I say "I am going to run 5 miles a day every day this week", I'll probably run 15 and get defiant at myself, rebelling at the standard I just tried to set. My everyday resolution is to just be realistic, and be willing to tell myself the truth--not make up excuses for why I just went back on my "commitment to a new life." As I have mentioned before (I think), I am a personal trainer. Between my clients, and my own personal endeavors with fitness, and healthy lifestyles, I have seen only LONG TERM success with those who kept a realistic attitude, and became a partner with themselves instead of an enemy to themselves. I see people become their own enemies everyday...hell, I do it sometimes! They beat themselves up because they ate a piece of cake, or didn't go to the gym, whatever whatever. Guilt and self hatred always become the victors in this battle. When you are in a partnership with yourself, you have a much better chance at following through with good behavior and action. If you pay attention to yourself, you will know when to push yourself and when to take it easy on yourself.
I recently read a book called "Intuitive Eating"http://www.intuitiveeating.org/. One of the focuses of the book is to come to a place where you view "bad food" in the same light as "good food". Meaning, an average person wouldn't feel guilty about eating a peach, or broccoli, etc. Yet when we eat a "bad food" like cake, pizza, CAKE etc. we go into a mode of guilt and self hatred. Most of this is a mental solution...allow yourself the cake and in turn you wont obsess about it. Easier said than done, and there is much more clinical information regarding this that I am definitely not qualified to talk about. Read the book, or talk to a dietitian.
Let me get back to my point since I always need to go off on a tangent. Bring it back sister! OK, I tried this exercise of allowing myself cake (cake is/was my guilty, bad, no no food). It took a few months, and I swear to you I made a new cake every week. The exercise was a success thus far. Allowing myself to have cake whenever I want, has made it a non-delicacy for me. I can honestly tell you that I can take it or leave it. I know it will be there if I want it, so the NEED has been removed and replaced with WANT (when and if). What a freedom. The big thing that happened for me was that my greatest fear attached to eating cake did not come true! I did not gain a pound. I actually lost weight. My exercise did not increase in intensity on the days I ate cake (everyday I will have you know.) My exercises are intense to begin with on most days, but that is only because that is the type of workout I like to do. I don't like to waste time. I don't have a lot of it to begin with. So whats the point of all this mumbo jumbo? I am going to sound like a cheeseball for a minute, but I cant help it sometimes....become your #1 nurturer and buddy!! Get rid of the devil sitting on your shoulder, and squash him all kinds of up. The only thing that attitude gets you is failure. Be realistic with yourself and you may actually find success in areas that have been stunting you for so long.
So I guess I was passionate about something after all....
This is probably a good post to put a plug in of my new business endeavor. My good friend and now business partner and I are starting a "Healthy Living" program/business. Erica (my friend and partner) is a Registered Dietitian and I am as mentioned a Certified Personal Trainer. We are still hammering out details, but are accepting clients currently. We offer nutritional counseling services, and fitness plans. It should be very exciting as we hammer though. Erica is the sweetest and most genuine person that I know, and I am absolutely thrilled and honored that she wants to team up with me. She is so awesome.
Happy New Year!!!
On the flip side of that if I say "I am going to run 5 miles a day every day this week", I'll probably run 15 and get defiant at myself, rebelling at the standard I just tried to set. My everyday resolution is to just be realistic, and be willing to tell myself the truth--not make up excuses for why I just went back on my "commitment to a new life." As I have mentioned before (I think), I am a personal trainer. Between my clients, and my own personal endeavors with fitness, and healthy lifestyles, I have seen only LONG TERM success with those who kept a realistic attitude, and became a partner with themselves instead of an enemy to themselves. I see people become their own enemies everyday...hell, I do it sometimes! They beat themselves up because they ate a piece of cake, or didn't go to the gym, whatever whatever. Guilt and self hatred always become the victors in this battle. When you are in a partnership with yourself, you have a much better chance at following through with good behavior and action. If you pay attention to yourself, you will know when to push yourself and when to take it easy on yourself.
I recently read a book called "Intuitive Eating"http://www.intuitiveeating.org/. One of the focuses of the book is to come to a place where you view "bad food" in the same light as "good food". Meaning, an average person wouldn't feel guilty about eating a peach, or broccoli, etc. Yet when we eat a "bad food" like cake, pizza, CAKE etc. we go into a mode of guilt and self hatred. Most of this is a mental solution...allow yourself the cake and in turn you wont obsess about it. Easier said than done, and there is much more clinical information regarding this that I am definitely not qualified to talk about. Read the book, or talk to a dietitian.
Let me get back to my point since I always need to go off on a tangent. Bring it back sister! OK, I tried this exercise of allowing myself cake (cake is/was my guilty, bad, no no food). It took a few months, and I swear to you I made a new cake every week. The exercise was a success thus far. Allowing myself to have cake whenever I want, has made it a non-delicacy for me. I can honestly tell you that I can take it or leave it. I know it will be there if I want it, so the NEED has been removed and replaced with WANT (when and if). What a freedom. The big thing that happened for me was that my greatest fear attached to eating cake did not come true! I did not gain a pound. I actually lost weight. My exercise did not increase in intensity on the days I ate cake (everyday I will have you know.) My exercises are intense to begin with on most days, but that is only because that is the type of workout I like to do. I don't like to waste time. I don't have a lot of it to begin with. So whats the point of all this mumbo jumbo? I am going to sound like a cheeseball for a minute, but I cant help it sometimes....become your #1 nurturer and buddy!! Get rid of the devil sitting on your shoulder, and squash him all kinds of up. The only thing that attitude gets you is failure. Be realistic with yourself and you may actually find success in areas that have been stunting you for so long.
So I guess I was passionate about something after all....
This is probably a good post to put a plug in of my new business endeavor. My good friend and now business partner and I are starting a "Healthy Living" program/business. Erica (my friend and partner) is a Registered Dietitian and I am as mentioned a Certified Personal Trainer. We are still hammering out details, but are accepting clients currently. We offer nutritional counseling services, and fitness plans. It should be very exciting as we hammer though. Erica is the sweetest and most genuine person that I know, and I am absolutely thrilled and honored that she wants to team up with me. She is so awesome.
Happy New Year!!!
Monday, October 22, 2012
Didn't your mother ever teach you not to stare?...This one's for you, ladies.
I am debating how to begin this rant, as it is a BIG pet peeve of mine and I don't want to come off like a hormonal 13 year old. I also hope that this post helps two people--the ones guilty, and the innocent. Ok, ok, what the what am I taking about?! Maybe I should go backwards here...Next week my baby girl will be 10 months old (What?!!! Where has the time gone?)...that would make me 10 months postpartum, and still rockin a....wait for it...postpartum belly! What?! That's preposterous!! So part of me is being sarcastic (that would be the realistic part of me,) but sadly part of me is really frustrated and cant seem to stop comparing myself to what I think of as "everyone else." What I mean by that is I only see who I choose to see, which would primarily be women whose bodies bounced back to their pre-preggo figures before the baby even popped out! Well maybe not that fast, but you can catch my drift. Whether that is truly common or not, it is NOT my experience. Even after running 20 miles a week, weight training 3 times a week, and eating healthier than most people that I know, my body still wants to hang on to that belly! I do want to interject quickly that I am still breastfeeding my daughter, and plan to until she is 1 year old (unless she bites my boob off, which is very possible based on happenings of the past few days...OUCH!). I plan to write a completely different post on breastfeeding, but felt it is necessary to mention since most people will tell you that you will lose weight if you breastfeed. As that is true for some, it is not the case for all of us--like myself. Ok, so backtracking...here comes my issue..the whole reason I am writing this. Being a woman, and now one that has endured the beautiful miracle of pregnancy and childbirth, I feel that I am just that much more sensitive to the differences of all women--specifically concerning weight. Primarily because I have come to find that there is no such thing as "normal". Repeat: THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS NORMAL!!!! How could there be? Every body, pregnancy, birth, child, etc is different to some degree or many. The only thing normal about any of us is that we are all human. However, society likes to tell us how we should look, and we believe them. At least I do. Not because I am content with someone dictating my life, but because I do not want to be different, and I want to be beautiful. So we (I) buy into normal being "rail thin", and back to my pre-pregnancy body 2 months postpartum. Now, I know society has gotten to some of you also.As I can't read your minds, I can certainly interpret your actions, at least when they are directed at me. To those of you that may or may not be concerned here (I will let you be the true judge of your own behavior), I would like to ask if you think that I cant see you staring at my stomach when we I walk up to say hello. Guess what? People can tell when you are not making eye contact..wanna know how? They have eyes too!!! WHAAAA?!!!!!!! Yep, I can see you when you are standing two feet in front of me staring at my stomach..or shall I say glancing up and down, up and down. I think you may think you are as fast as lighting, and maybe I didn't notice. Here's the thing, if you really want to see my stomach, just ask...I will lift my shirt up for you and you can stare as long as you would like. When you are done, maybe we can have an actual conversation regarding something interesting...or not. You know the worst part about this? Some of you are Moms yourself. Id like to say you should know better, but how would I know that? Then there are those who have not yet had the privilege of carrying, and then birthing the greatest love and joy that God could ever bless you with. I'd like to say "mind you business","up here a-hole!", or "are you done?", but don't..its not polite. Anyway, when the day comes that you are blessed with such a gift, I want you to feel safe coming to me to draw on my experience if need be. I mean it. In the meantime, I hope someone reads this and gets SOMETHING out of it. If not, that's OK because I did. I am working hard on having a healthy relationship with my body, and will continue to if not just so my daughter can learn to love herself as she is...as God made her. One day, she is going to learn what society thinks, and I hope I will be example enough to show her that the only thing that matters is what she thinks, and how she feels--that BEAUTIFUL is however she defines it to be..without any help from society. So, whether or not you continue to stare is out of my control, and I hope that one day you too can define your own kind of beautiful..without the help of anyone else.
Friday, October 19, 2012
FRIDAY TREADMILL WORKOUT!!
Hey all! So I always want to slack off on Fridays. I normally workout in the mornings (almost always begrudgingly), but I have a different routine on Fridays. I found that morning grocery shopping is WAY more relaxing because the grocery store is nearly empty (or maybe peoples coffee hasn't kicked in yet so they aren't obnoxiously bulldozing through the aisles). Once Quinn goes down for a nap I unload the groceries, pay the bills, drink my coffee, and check/send e-mails. So, I have to wait until Quinn goes down at 2 to do my workout. I occasionally take her outside for a jog, but we are all snotty today -- probably not a great idea.
With that all being said, join me today for a weekend kick-off treadmill routine!! If you do not have access to a treadmill, then I will give you an alternate exercise...NO EXCUSES!!! HAHA. Anyway, now that I am telling you to workout, that means I need to do it too!! By the way, there is a nasty cold going around. If you have it and think you cant workout, here is what I do. If it is above the neck I workout, if its in the chest rest it out. You can actually make yourself worse by working out through certain sicknesses.
READY??????
Start your treadmills!
This is a fat burning routine. I am going to write a beginners workout, but if you aren't a beginner then step up the speed!
Minutes: Speed: Incline:
0:00-2:00 2.5 3.0 (warm-up)
2:00-4:00 3.0 7.0
4-6 3.5 6.5
6-8 4.0 6.0
8-10 4.5 5.5
10-12 5.0 2.5
12-14 5.5 2.0
14-16 5.0 2.5
16-18 4.5 5.5
18-20 4.0 6.0
20-22 3.5 6.5
22-24 3.0 7.0
24-28 4.5 2.0
28-30 2.5 1.0 (cool down)
* Do this 3-5 days a week and you will blast that fat off (in time of course).
Alternate:
Run/walk outside for 30 minutes. Run 1 block, walk one block..etc. When I say run, I want you to SPRINT!!!
I cant wait to hear how everyone did!! Have a great weekend!
With that all being said, join me today for a weekend kick-off treadmill routine!! If you do not have access to a treadmill, then I will give you an alternate exercise...NO EXCUSES!!! HAHA. Anyway, now that I am telling you to workout, that means I need to do it too!! By the way, there is a nasty cold going around. If you have it and think you cant workout, here is what I do. If it is above the neck I workout, if its in the chest rest it out. You can actually make yourself worse by working out through certain sicknesses.
READY??????
Start your treadmills!
This is a fat burning routine. I am going to write a beginners workout, but if you aren't a beginner then step up the speed!
Minutes: Speed: Incline:
0:00-2:00 2.5 3.0 (warm-up)
2:00-4:00 3.0 7.0
4-6 3.5 6.5
6-8 4.0 6.0
8-10 4.5 5.5
10-12 5.0 2.5
12-14 5.5 2.0
14-16 5.0 2.5
16-18 4.5 5.5
18-20 4.0 6.0
20-22 3.5 6.5
22-24 3.0 7.0
24-28 4.5 2.0
28-30 2.5 1.0 (cool down)
* Do this 3-5 days a week and you will blast that fat off (in time of course).
Alternate:
Run/walk outside for 30 minutes. Run 1 block, walk one block..etc. When I say run, I want you to SPRINT!!!
I cant wait to hear how everyone did!! Have a great weekend!
Thursday, October 18, 2012
One foot forward....
Hi All! So, I have been thinking of starting a blog for a long time now...well since I left my job when my daughter Quinn was born last December. It is so overwhelming and confusing for me to start something that is so much bigger in my head than it actually is...you know, like laundry? I kept thinking and praying for inspiration, but realized I just cant limit myself to one interest. Maybe I caught my husbands "A.D.D." LOL, jk!!(That will probably get me in trouble). I would say if there is one goal that I have, it is to share EVERYTHING that I find to be worthwhile and helpful to a NORMY like me. I never understood why people were so guarded on sharing things like, how they get their hair so perfect, or where they got their shirt, what kind of exercise they do, or even how they keep their house so clean with kids jumping off the walls. For anyone that knows me, withholding things has never been a characteristic of mine...probably to a fault. I don't relate well to people who seem so perfect on the outside, because I am DEFINITELY not perfect on the inside, or outside for that matter. Anyways I am just not mature enough to walk away and not compare myself and what I don't have, or what I am not. With that being said...welcome to my blog!!
Let me tell you about myself (beyond what I already shared.) Uh duh, my name...geez louise....like I said I have a scatter brain...hehe. My name is Beth Deschenes, and I am a 29 year old Wifey, Mommy, Personal Trainer, Group Fitness Instructor, LOVER of all things tasty and all things pretty, impulsive shopper, wannabe Suzy Homemaker, lover/hater of running, and so much more ( I hope..hehe). Its hard to actually go on and on, but I promise more will be revealed as I continue to post. I want to talk about my family, but feel they deserve an entirely different post...so stay tuned, because they are really the greatest!
(Top: My handsome husband Chris and I. Bottom: My heartbeat, Quinn Lucia)
So here are some ideas that have been looming that you can look forward to in the near future:
A workout and all the thoughts that lead up to actually doing it..like putting on your shoes, my experience in breastfeeding (not the same as those who lost weight doing it BTW), the upward battle for a healthy body image and relationship with food, my daily cleaning ritual (boring!) and where I learned it, I am sure I will post something tasty, and I have a project in the works to install my own runner on the staircase..yikes!! So stay tuned!!
Just a disclosure: Outside of being a Personal Trainer, everything else is pure experience. I am NOT a professional, so please please please do not take my experience as the end all be all.
Let me tell you about myself (beyond what I already shared.) Uh duh, my name...geez louise....like I said I have a scatter brain...hehe. My name is Beth Deschenes, and I am a 29 year old Wifey, Mommy, Personal Trainer, Group Fitness Instructor, LOVER of all things tasty and all things pretty, impulsive shopper, wannabe Suzy Homemaker, lover/hater of running, and so much more ( I hope..hehe). Its hard to actually go on and on, but I promise more will be revealed as I continue to post. I want to talk about my family, but feel they deserve an entirely different post...so stay tuned, because they are really the greatest!
So here are some ideas that have been looming that you can look forward to in the near future:
A workout and all the thoughts that lead up to actually doing it..like putting on your shoes, my experience in breastfeeding (not the same as those who lost weight doing it BTW), the upward battle for a healthy body image and relationship with food, my daily cleaning ritual (boring!) and where I learned it, I am sure I will post something tasty, and I have a project in the works to install my own runner on the staircase..yikes!! So stay tuned!!
Just a disclosure: Outside of being a Personal Trainer, everything else is pure experience. I am NOT a professional, so please please please do not take my experience as the end all be all.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)